Ramoji Film City - Day 1

My favourite garden in Ramoji City that I call "The Pastoral"

Let me say right in the beginning that we thoroughly enjoyed our 2-day stay in the Ramoji Film City and I am all admiration for the founder of the City and the people who manage it.

View of Sanghi Temple from Ramoji City

(No, it is not a templeof Sanghi, but built by Sanghis, I don't know for which deity)

The first day, we just took the Ramoji City Tour and familiarized ourselves with its layout and location of the attractions. We also attended the highly hilarious Wild West Show

The Apollo Fountain

The tour stops at only two places -- at the set of an airport in which there also a small plane and at the man-made Kripalu caves with its eerie atmosphere. The show in the cave makes it appear as though a stone dancer has come alive and is dancing before your eyes, only to vanish into its recess once again. It is also highly enjoyable.

The set of airport

The tour then passed along an avenue adorned by the statues of six Nartakis or Celestial Dancers.

The Nartakis are an embodiment of the typical Dravidian concept of female beauty. Those damsels are wearing only heavy ornaments which are not enough to cover their heavy, exaggerated breasts and hips adequately. (Vital statistics 50-40-60) These things are generally euphemistically referred to as assets in the gossip columns.

Those Nartakis looked so much like comfortable, middle-aged matrons each having four children, that I renamed them as Ammas. There was nothing of the nubile, young, supple form of a virgin about them. (On second thought, let me be fair and modify my statement. Some of them looked like they have had six children. The assets looked swollen with milk.)

One of the 'Ammas' and one of her children holding onto her skirts, or rather, what would have been her skirt, if she was wearing one. I told you, didn't I, that her 'assets' look full of milk? She is a picture of the contented Motherhood.

(Let me make it clear, that I myself have an Amma type of figure, or rather, lack of it.)

Again my mind played the imp and projected a full 3-minute clip before my inner eye.

My impish mind shooting impish films.

The South Indian actress Jajayeshwari Devi, dressed in her heavy Kanjeevaram silk, her opulent jewelry and her three chins, reclined on a velvet-covered divan. She had recently made a successful foray in Hindi films and as a result, had gotten a lot of unaccounted money. Anyway, hadnt she employed a thoroughly competent and conscientious Financial Advisor just for this?

He always thought that the Thailavi (pronounced as Tailavi) word that Devi put before her name referred to her oily hair and oily appearance.

Today, he wanted to tell her about ways to safeguard her black money.

Madamji, you have very large assets. He said.

Jayjayeshwari Devi was secretly pleased to hear it, but said coyly, Oh, Sharmaji, what for you want to talk about my assets? Neither her Hindi nor her English was any too good but she knew what was meant by assets. The writer chap from the last film had told her that.

The problem is that your assets are black said Sharmaji.

Jayjayeshwari Devi was offended. Granted that she was not as fair-skinned as the Punjabi actresses, but she certainly wasnt dark enough to be called black. She pouted.

So you should keep those assets in diamonds and gold advised Sharmaji.

This idea appealed to Jayjayeshwari Devi immensely. Hadnt she seen an actresss navel sporting a large diamond in a dance?

That will cover you to some extent said the excellent Sharmaji.

Jayjayeshwari Devi believed more in exposing rather than covering her assets. However, maybe strategically placed diamonds and gold would enhance the charm of those assets.

You have to show some assets up front to the Income Tax people said Sharmaji.

Jayjayeshwari Devi was peeved. Ayayyo! she thought. Those Income Tax people were also after those assets? And all the time she thought that they were after her money.

Some assets you can keep back for a rainy day Sharmaji advised sincerely.

Jayjayeshwari Devi assumed that this meant a dancing in the rain dream-sequence in which her back assets will be filmed in a wet, clinging saree, made transparent by the rain. She was entirely comfortable with the idea.

I will also advise you to keep your assets in a Swiss Bank. said the poor, guileless Sharmaji.

Let us be charitable and cover up the consternation and confusion of Jayjayeshwari Devis mind. In fact, JayJayeshwari Devi always preferred to keep her mind covered from public gaze.

About her body, she had no such qualms.

This Mughal Garden is not anywhere in North India, but in Ramoji City.

Ever since coming to Ramoji Film City, my impish inner mind had appointed itself the producer, director, financier, and ultimately the only viewer of these kinds of short films and in general, interfering with my conscious mind, so I sent it packing.

Open Air Theater

Later, I wanted to take a shortcut to our hotel through the Maze, but Avi was too hungry and put his foot down.

The' Maze'